Undecided on Prop 8 in California? Consider this sad story.

With the election around the corner here in California and Proposition 8 regarding same sex civil unions being on the ballot in California – I thought this was an important story to share.
I have been a  Berevement and Hospice volunteer for a number of years.
 
Today I visited with a gay man who was dying and on hospice.
This mans biggest fear was not that he was dying, it was what was going to happen to his partner of 30years. Because they were gay his life partner could or would lose everything to some other people.
Here are two people who have shared 30 years together and the system says they have no legal rights.
What is also sad is the surviving partner has no say in the funeral arrangements.
Somehow I feel a great deal of injustice in all of this.
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The Gay Man on Hospice | Senior Health Moment
10.30.08 at 12:57 pm

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Tom Scott 10.28.08 at 11:24 am

Well, that’s the problem. You post that Prop 8 is about “Civil Unions” but it’s not. Prop 8 was written to stop homosexual/lesbian marraiges. Nobody was mobilizing to stop Civil Unions, but that wasen’t good enough. It’s clear throughout history that marraige is an arraingement between men and women in which children are raised. Homosexuals and lesbians couldn’t be happy with civil unions that would give their partner rights as far as finances, hospitals and funerals, they had to force the issue to be allowed to make a mockery of marraige. It’s a constant effort to mock society and hetero sexuals. Now they’re losing after the court action and it’s back to “poor us”. Well to bad. They should have left well enough alone.

monick 10.28.08 at 1:57 pm

this is not a sad story

Alice 10.29.08 at 2:12 am

If civil unions were all they were cracked up to be, then there wouldn’t be a problem. But when you have instances of civil union partners not being able to visit one another in hospital, because the hospital doesn’t consider them “next of kin”, then the union hasn’t given the partners the same rights as a marriage would. Same with receiving tax or insurance benefits, or recognition of the relationship in other states or countries.

There’s no mockery here, there’s genuine respect, and in some cases envy. Why could my post-menopausal aunt marry her partner, and my dad’s best friend not marry his? All parties are in their sixties, there’s no children to bring up in this picture. And it wouldn’t matter if there were.

I’m just happy I live in a country which actually recognises long-term de facto relationships of all forms as equal to marriage, so that we don’t have to fight about this.

Byron 10.29.08 at 3:04 am

Tom, How is it mocking heterosexuals to want to share the joy of marriage?

Robert 10.29.08 at 3:27 am

Monick, you seem to show the heartlessness that many on the right over display this issue.

Here are 2 humans who love each other and have spent 30 years together. They are a couple of the remaining partner should have full say over what happens. This story is heartbreaking.

blueraymyday 10.29.08 at 6:48 am

tom scott, looks like you’re a compassionate conservative. i bet that you think you’re a christian too. well, it seems to me that are neither compassionate nor are you a christian. you’re just a conservative, and a bigoted and benighted one at that.

monick, i hope you experience a similar loss in your life.

Katherine 10.29.08 at 8:19 am

Really, Tom? Are you accounting for modern history? What of arranged marriages of centuries past when marriages were made for financial benefit and bearing children? Are you choosing your wife based on the width of her hips and the quality of her family’s goat? Or were you thinking not of the benefits but the love between two people? If that’s the case you might want to crack a book: romantic relationships between same gendered people has occurred since the beginning of time. In fact, homosexual relationships have been arranged since to beginning of time as a means of acquiring more power.

I fail to understand how gay marriage is a “mockery.” This theory speaks clearly of your own insecurities. Civil unions are not the equivalent of marriage and do not bestow equal benefits. In the interest of equality would YOU want to be restricted to civil union? Because I’m thinking that it wouldn’t be enough for you.

MC 10.29.08 at 9:31 am

This is sad. Yet another example of how discrimination hurts everyone. Please vote no on 8!

Emma 10.29.08 at 10:18 am

Proposition 8 is designed to take away the right of same sex couples to marry. A legal marriage comes with 1049 inherent rights (according to the federal government) where as domestic partnerships come with six rights.

Proposition 8 will not force churches into performing “religious unions” for same sex couples. Marriage is a legal contract not a religious one. If a couple has only a religious ceremony without the the meeting the legal requirements of a a license then they have no standing in court if their “union” disolves.

Civil unions are not enough. If you call marriage something else, it is something else. Equality is equality, there are not degress of equal treatment under the law. It is either equal or it is not.

The previous commentator is correct, “It is not a sad story”. The story you have cited is a slap in the face o American justice and the Constitution. All Americans are created equal. Legislating to take away the right of consenting adults to marry is mean spirted and bigoted and wrong.

Christy 10.29.08 at 5:08 pm

VOTE YES ON PROP 8TOM SCOTT GREAT COMMENT.

Kelly 10.29.08 at 5:26 pm

This story might be heartbreaking for all the bleeding hearts in this country. However it is not to me. I do not belive in gay marriage and I should not be forced to accept it. I do not want to be in the supermarket with my small children and be subjected to two men kissing right in front of us. Which has already happened I should not have to pay my tax dollars so that they can spread their agenda in schools and everywhere else.. It is against the very laws of nature itself.
I do not hate gay people as I am not their judge but, I refuse to be forced to accept it. When the will of the people has been spoken and then some judge trys to overturn it somthing is wrong. This country rules by majority not minority. Prop 8 will pass and put this issue to rest once and for all. Im not saying people can not do what they want however I should not be forced to accept it. Keep it in the closet………………

Gina 10.29.08 at 8:21 pm

Wow, hope none of you one track minded Americans have to ever have to go through this. Keep your stones to yourself. No on prop 8. Love for all

admin 10.30.08 at 12:57 pm

The gay man on hospice that I worte about earlier in the week died yesterday.

Mary

susan 10.31.08 at 11:45 am

Civil Unions ensured their gay union.

A G 11.04.08 at 4:25 pm

It is sad to know that where that gay man went after his death.

Emma 11.10.08 at 9:06 pm

Deep sympathy to the surviving husband of the gentleman who passed.

If you call marriage something else, it is something else. Since when is equal protection under the law subject to the will of the majority?

It is not. That is why we have the Consitution and the Bill of Rights.

Lesbian and Gay tax dollars have been funding benefits and services that could not be utilized by same sex couples for years. Taxation without represenation justified by the persnickity,, self-rightous religious bigots who offend the children of lesbian and gay couples need to keep their religious intolerance in their tax exempt churches and out of government.

I heard on the radio that churces were offing half hearted apologies on their websites regarding proposition 8. This is of no use unless you change your arrogant, and monterous mean spirited behavior.

Perhaps you folks might want to look at the divorce rate and the log in your eye before you concentrate o the spinter in your neighbor’s.

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